First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
