i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I am in a vortex of obligation.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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