worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
