dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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