Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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