Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
