She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh god it's open bar.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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