if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
