Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
