I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You smell like stripper and shame
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
