Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
