when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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