I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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