Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
