I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
