At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
