That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
