just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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