Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize