At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just cropdusted the office
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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