i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
