It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
