Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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