your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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