carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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