I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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