he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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