I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
