Do vagina's smell?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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