do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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