Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
