just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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