did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
