You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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