A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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