Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
