Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
