He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
