You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
