i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
