just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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