I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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