I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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