well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
