I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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