shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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