Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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