sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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