I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
