At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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