When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Say something about gay babies.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
