Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
