I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
