We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
