I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I could fuck to npr.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
