i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I have fence marks all over my body
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
