thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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