so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
