woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
