I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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