I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
