Don't you send me to vm
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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