Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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