White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
