As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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