i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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