my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
